Warning: Snark Level RED!

I am a Homemaker. I haven’t had a paying job for quite some time, and I’ve never had a job that was exactly considered glamorous or exciting. Some jobs I’ve held are even sneered at by many. Meh. If the opinions of others was what ruled me, I probably wouldn’t have survived.

Stuff doesn’t impress me. Expensive stuff, mediocre stuff, doesn’t matter. In my brain, beauty is defined by how well something performs the task for which it was created. I believe the term used to describe me was “pragmatic” – “of or pertaining to a practical point of view or practical considerations.” Being helpful and useful are MASSIVELY more important – in my mind – than anything you own, who your daddy was, how much your house/shoes/car/purse cost, or where you went to school.

Mitch Albom’s column today is a study in everything I don’t want to be, and everything I could never find attractive in a Friend or mate.

Start with Kardashian. She makes nothing. She has no particular skill. Her initial claim to fame was having a self-made sex video that went wild across the Internet.

The sole fascination with her seems to be — and I don’t mean to be crude here, but correct me if I’m wrong — 1) Who’s she having sex with now? 2) What would it be like to have sex with her? 3) How is she always at a party? and 4) Her butt.

I’m guessing that Kardashian DOES have a skill, it’s just not one most of us discuss in mixed company. This kind of broad makes me want to vomit, and validates my decision to leave the television turned off. The only magazines I’ve read in 5 years are Guideposts and the Grapevine, whose front covers will never be graced by a Kardashian butt.

I’m going to head out now to see some of my imperfect, working-class, non-surgically-altered Friends. People who, like me, do not need “audience.” Thanks for stopping by, have a GREAT evening!

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