I’ve been thinking…

Reading the status updates on Facebook could be a chapter in a textbook for a class I never took. Sociology? Social Psychology? How to spot the ‘sick ones’ among us?

I’ve been watching what some of the single people post. There are lots of naps, lots of eating – more eating out than preparing homemade meals, lots of tv series or movies. And more naps. And hair and nail appointments. What I don’t see are any ‘difficulties’ in their personal relationships, other than the jerks in traffic or the other cubicle-dweller who makes them crazy. They don’t have arguments and spend a day giving or getting the silent treatment, and then making up and getting past it. They don’t seem to be…changing…or growing…and are definitely not aware of it, in their ‘happiness.’

Now, I don’t have a lot of social interaction. I don’t have a job to go to every day which entails being around people who don’t like me. I don’t have a lot of friends, and I don’t go out with the ones I do have much. I don’t usually go out to dinner or breakfast with anyone other than my husband or my granddaughter – except for the Ladies Dinner on the first Tuesday, and breakfast, brunch, lunch, tea, snack…whatever we can get whenever SwampWoman and I can squeeze in a visit. I don’t watch enough tv to speak of (Mike and Mike in the Morning, baseball, golf, America’s Test Kitchen, and Top Gear), and the movies I see are ones Duffy’s pretty sure I’ll enjoy (like Iron Man 3 and Skyfall). I don’t read the latest best sellers and then discuss them with all the others who read them. I have an ordinary, rather dull, little life, with my husband, the cats, the bird, our granddaughter, and her parents.

I can imagine what it would be like to be single, and it’s not something I’d enjoy very much. The ache in my heart of knowing I am truly alone is something I’m in no hurry to feel again. The idea that there’s no one to hold my hand or my head when I’m sick, no one to care if I come home before dawn, no one to try the new recipe I just found…well, it’s just not all that attractive.

Men and women are not meant to be alone. We were created to fit together, physically and emotionally. Where one is strong, the other can lean, and those roles are reversed and changed for each other, depending on the requirements at hand. A couple need not be free of all other encumbrances to be ‘successful’ in their relationship. A couple need not be ‘past’ or ‘over’ a previous relationship that ended in pain. A couple may have only one member who loves the other one in a romantic way. She may dislike his bald head. He may think she’s just short of incompetent.

What a couple needs is commitment…and willingness…and Love. Not love that excludes all others, not love based only on physical attraction. But the kind of Love, and commitment, and willingness, that will keep her beside him, doing what needs to be done, when he is sick, and him beside her, doing what needs to be done, when she is injured. As a team, building a life that pleases and supports and gratifies and stimulates each of them. When their focus is what’s best for the Family – whether there are children involved or not – people are healthier and happier.

The rootlessness, the self-involved frantic busy-ness – offset by self-involved laziness…that I see in some of the ‘happily single’ people I know – these are deadly and dangerous to spiritual health, and ultimately to physical and emotional well-being.

That’s my rant for today. Thanks for stopping by!



  1. Hunh. If I were single, I wonder what my Facebook page would look like? Isn’t a Facebook page sort of like an advertisement of your best points (if any) for any interested buyers?

    I don’t think that there would be anything there at all about manicures. Or pedicures. Or makeup. Or fashionable clothing. I’d probably be doing a lot of hiking and outdoor stuff by myself. I don’t do it now because SwampMan is convinced that somebody is just waiting to snatch me even though I point out to him that snatching a person of my size is just not the easiest thing in the world to do. It can cause hernias.

  2. He sounds nearly as paranoid as most of the city folk I know!

    Some people do very good FB pages. Short little blurbs, amusing anecdotes and pictures. Those are usually people with a Real Life…and they’re not usually single!

  3. Hmmmmm…. I’m single, and I’m on Facebook. And I’ve yet to use the word ‘manicure’ in any of my posts. Certainly not the posts related to my own life, anyhow.
    But I have a mildly amazing blog, so I guess that makes me the exception.

    1. See, that’s just it – you don’t need to search for meaning on FB, you have your own blog. Although I think it’s much more than ‘mildly amazing!’ Somehow I see this as a bit more…mature? Maybe it isn’t but I think of it that way, anyway.

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